I heart Colleen Patrick-Goudreu

She is the founder of Compassionate Cooks - and has a fabulous vegan podcast that I get through iTunes, called Vegetarian Food for Thought. I have learned so much from listening to her, AND the clincher was today, when I made her "Better Than Tuna Salad" - which came out great!

(from Greenoptions.com)

Better-than-Tuna Salad
Serves 4-6, depending on serving style: sandwiches or side dish

1 can organic garbanzo beans/chick peas, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup (or more) eggless mayonnaise (Wildwood’s Garlic Aioli, Nayonnaise, or Vegenaise are great options)
1 red bell pepper, finely chopped
3 scallions (white and light green parts), finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
1-2 tablespoons fresh parsley, finely chopped
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1/2 teaspoon sea salt or to taste
Black pepper, to taste

DIRECTIONS
1. Add the chick peas to a food processor or blender and grind them down into small pieces. You can even grind them down so it becomes somewhat like a thick puree. The ultimate texture is up to you. Grinding the beans is optional, but I find that it’s easier to eat it as a sandwich this way; plus, it really does resemble tuna in taste and texture when the beans are ground up. It's best if you use the "pulse" button on your food processor so you can control the ultimate texture of the beans.
2. In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients and mix well. Season with salt, pepper, and the amount of aioli/eggless mayonnaise you desire.

Serving Suggestions:
*Wonderful as a sandwich filling on a hard roll or stuffed in a pita
*Serve on crackers as an appetizer or party dish
*Serve as a side salad – great for picnics and BBQs!

Variation Suggestions:
*Of course you may also use beans made from scratch, as opposed to canned beans.
*Use cubed, steamed tempeh for a “Better Than Chicken Salad."
*Use potatoes for a tasty potato salad.
*Use mashed extra firm tofu for an “eggless egg” salad.
*The walnuts are optional, but they add a really nice texture.
*You may sprinkle some kelp flakes in as well, to really add to the “fishy” flavor.


I used red onion instead of scallions, and just estimated most of the quantities, and I used Nayonnaise. I chopped everything with a food processor to get it done quickly. But I'm thinking a simple version of just the chickpeas, onion, mayo, maybe celery and/or walnuts would be great for making back-to-school bag lunch sandwiches. Yum! And no dead fish or tortured chickens were involved!

my (lacking) memory

People who know me well know better than to ask me the plot of a movie, book, or play, if it has been months or years since I've seen/read it. For some reason my brain doesn't hold on to narrative. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I can tell you whether or not it was a good movie, book, or play, and whether or not I liked it. I can recall how it made me feel. Who was in it? Maybe. (You know, that guy who was in that other movie, with that other guy where they, uh... oh forget it.) What exactly happens in it? No clue. A vague remeniscence of the general subject matter, ok, probably, but actual plot? Never. Not unless I've seen it over and over again. Sure I can tell you the story of the Wizard of Oz, but only because I've seen it a zillion times.

I say my brain doesn't hold on to the plot, but that's not exactly accurate. More than once, I've rented a movie that I've already seen. I've even read the summary feeling fairly certain that I'd never seen it, but in the first few minutes of the film, a light bulb goes on. The synapses connect, and an overwhelming "oh yeah!" feeling brings the whole story flooding back to me. It's as though the information is tucked away, but I just can't get at it. It's frustrating at times, but nothing I can't live with.

Take, for example, "Gone With The Wind." I know I loved it, I know it's about the Civil War, I know Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler are in love, and that he's a soldier, that he goes and comes back, and "Frankly... I don't give a damn." What doesn't he give a damn about? Not sure. I know Tara, the plantation, burns. I know a thing or two about Hattie McDaniel. I know Scarlett has some kind of "let's worry about it tomorrow" thing going on. This is actually quite a bit more than I can remember about most movies, which is next to nothing, but still I can't say what happens, in what sequence, or retrieve the details from my mind. I haven't seen it for several years, but I know if I saw it tonight, it would all come back to me during the first scene.

This weekend I stored several more narratives in my memory banks, wondering as I always do, "Will I remember this in a week? A month? A year?" How can I stop losing this information, or at least, losing the pathways that let me unlock the information that just sits there? This weekend I saw a play, "Eurydice", three movies: "Mon meilleur ami", "The Fan", and "Sicko", and I finished one book, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. I don't really have the time or the desire to keep notes about these stories. I wish I could talk intelligently about them a year from now, but I don't know if it will be possible! ("The Fan" was worth forgetting, but the others were good, and "Sicko" was great.)

Is it from the countless hours I spent watching terrible TV sitcoms as a kid, that kind of vegetating I did in front of the tube where the brain is virtually turned off? How many times did I go to the kitchen to get a snack during a commercial, and not even remember what it was I had been watching? Of course all those Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island and Bewitched episodes are also stored away, somewhere beside the Ingmar Bergman and Krzysztof Kieslowski films, just next to the Vonnegut novels, and behind various musicals, plays, and operas I've seen over the years. I guess there's some comfort in knowing they're somewhere in there.

renovations, phase II

I decided to do paint my bathroom next, since it was small enough to tackle in one day, didn't involve a huge amount of furniture moving, and didn't require any new sheetrock (as my living room now does.)

I took a chance and bought the color "American Blue" - it only took one quart - without even bringing home a sample! I have to say, it turned out pretty good. Definitely better than the chipping dirty white paint that preceded it. Before:

And after:

facelift for my kitchen

Right before I left for Hawaii, my landlord finally got around to fixing my kitchen floor. It had obviously been rotting out underneath the linoleum for quite some time. The clincher was when I saw soap bubbles coming out between the wall and the floor! They tore a huge hole in both the floor and the wall, and replaced pipes, rebuilt the floor, etc. When I got home from my trip it was almost done, but it was left looking like this:

Unfinished, flithy walls, tons of dust everywhere, a lumpy-bumpy concrete floor with a ratty piece of linoleum simply laying on it, no baseboards. To add insult to injury, when I called my landlord asking when I was going to have a real floor, he started threatening to not renew my lease! WTF?!

Anyway, after much discussion about how I was not asking for anything unreasonable, he agreed to get a professional in to do the floor, and I offered to finish the walls. Finally, at about midnight last night, I finished paining, and was able to move my stuff back into the kitchen:

Hooray! It's hard to see the exact color in the photos, but the walls are "pale tangerine". I'm so happy with it, I just might tackle my living room next...

Summer Rolls and Mochi! Hooray!

After my 9:00am dentist appointment, I thought I'd reward myself with a trip to the asian supermarket. Ever since I tasted mochi ice cream treats - little bonbons of ice cream covered in mochi - in Hawaii, I've been craving them. (Ha, now that I looked on wikipedia for mochi, I see it's available at Trader Joe's - so maybe it's not that exotic anymore...) Nevertheless, I hit the jackpot at the asian store. They had green tea, red bean, and mango flavors. I decided to get the green tea and the mango:

I also bought a bunch of other stuff for making sushi and for summer rolls. I decided since I had to get rid of some lettuce and green onions, I'd make some summer rolls when I got home. It was my first time, so I was kind of nervous working with rice paper! But I think I figured it out pretty well:

Thanks to some cooking tips from Miss K, I was pretty sure I could come up with something tasty. They're stuffed with romaine lettuce, tofu (fried in sesame oil, ginger, soy sauce, lime), mint leaves, green onion, and rice vermicelli. Yum! Dipping sauce is soy sauce, rice vinegar, sugar, ginger, & a splash orange-mango juice.

The Submarine Ride in Kailua-Kona

Who knew? In Kona you can get on a submarine that seats about 20 people, and dive a hundred feet below the surface! Coral reef, pretty fishies, shipwrecks... so cool!

More airplane photos

The other highlight of the plane ride was seeing the Hamakua coast from the air. The view of these huge gorges, lush vegetation, and beautiful waterfalls was spectacular.

At one point the pilot said, "watch this!" and did a turn that revealed these beauties:

This is the only road that leads down into the Waipio Valley:

Two days earlier, Kirsten and I made a valiant attempt at walking down it. It was so steep, and so hard just to walk down, we decided to stop (we think) about 1/3 of the way. Going back up was a workout!

On the way back up, we ran into a Japanese family walking down, that included an old lady with a walker! I don't know how they got her back up! We didn't take her picture, but here's Miss K. illustrating just how steep hit is...

Madame Pele puts on a show

I have a lot of catching up to do, regarding activities on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday was pretty amazing, so I'd better just start with that. We took an air tour of the island, and as luck would have it, Kilauea was especially active. Our pilot told us that Volcano National Park was closed, and was being evacuated, because some roads could potentially be blocked. They had been having various earthquakes since 2am, around 3.5 in magnitude... So we went straight to the craters where the action was:

Very cool. There was red hot lava inside these craters, and chunks of the crater walls were falling in! Further on down the slope there were actual rivers of hot lava that were visible:

Then, down at the shoreline you can see new land being created as the lava spills into the ocean. The ocean water turns all kinds of weird colors from the extreme heat, and gives off nasty toxic fumes. YAY!


Coming soon... more airplane pictures, submarine pictures, pretty Place of Refuge pictures, black sand beaches, and waterfalls galore. I'll be back in Philly in about 24 hours, where I can do all my catching up. (I'll be hiding upstairs on the computer - away from the GIGANTIC MESS my landlord apparently made in not exactly fixing my kitchen floor...)

a day in Puna

What'd you call me?

Today Kirsten and I drove down the east coast of Hawai'i to the area known as Puna - it's the most recently formed part of the island. We walked on beds of lava that were the result of a flow from around 1990. Most of it is Pahoehoe, lava that is smooth and often has these cool ropy patterns:

We stopped along the way for three yummy varieties of Poke (cubes of raw ahi tuna with various seasonings). Also on the way we stopped at Lili'uokalani Park in Hilo. Very pretty. It's been raining off and on (mostly on) like crazy, but we get occasional breaks of sunlight, so we took full advantage of those moments. It was high tide, so the tidepools (where one often finds pretty tropical fishies, or heat from underground vents) were overwhelmed with cold ocean water flushing in.

Still, we got to stick our feet in the water a little. Also saw the Lava Tree state monument, which is very cool. Lots of carcasses of former trees that got burnt up by lava flows.

Tonight we're back in Hilo, getting ready for a nice Thai dinner and preparing for our road trip to the Kona coast tomorrow.

In Hawaii!

Susan Miller was right again - she said Mercury was retrograde, and technical glitches & communication problems were to be expected... My flight from Newark to Honolulu ended up arriving late, due to two patches of weather we had to circumnavigate. However the 10+ hour ride wasn't bad, all in all. I did get fantastic views of the Great Lakes, then the Great Salt Lake, and also Lake Tahoe. I missed my connection, though, and ended up having to spend the night in Honolulu, delaying my arrival in Hilo until this morning.

Once I got here, Miss K greeted me at the airport with a beautiful fresh Lei, and took me immediately to Ken's pancake house for a yummy breakfast. We poked around downtown Hilo, and I went to a little show called "Hawai'iana" at the Palace Theater. They are a historic movie house from the 1920's that showed silent films accompanied by a theater organ. I got to hear the organ and some traditional Hawaiian music & stuff.

We went to the farmer's market after that and got summer rolls, pumpkin & tofu curry, & cold coconuts to drink from. Yum!

It's been raining like the dickens this afternoon, which provided the perfect backdrop for a much needed nap. Jetlag (plus the need to get on a plane super early) got me up at about 4:30am today...

Looks like sushi tonight and a trip to Puna tomorrow.

what's goin on...

My band, NMR, is playing this Friday night at Sisters. Come see us if you're in the Philly area!

I'm heading up to NYC on Saturday to spend Memorial Day weekend with my boys, DS & Eric. YAY we're gonna have fun.

Lastly, I'm launching a new website, dedicated to ME! Well, to me as a pianist. It is a step in the right direction, I hope, to furthering my career. Plus I want it to be a resource for my zillion-and-a-half students, where they can read about upcoming concerts, where to order music, what editions are good, recordings, practice techniques and habits, etc. Right now it's just a page with no active linkies yet - but it is at www.bradshawpiano.com. I will blog again when I launch the site in its full working glory!

In the starz

I always try to read my astrology zone forecast at the beginning of the month, when it comes out. This Susan Miller lady writes these really long, detailed monthly horoscopes. (She also inevitable says something funny regarding Uranus. This month it was "Mercury will move over Uranus at almost precisely the time of the full moon on April 2...") Anyway, I had been thinking about booking a June trip to Hawaii to visit my beloved Miss K, and noticed this little blurb in my forecast for April:

"At the new moon, April 17, if you've been toying with an idea of going abroad for a vacation or study, the pieces of your puzzle will slip into place. The coming year really glows for international travel - if it's within the realm, make it a priority this year. (A trip in June would be great). If an overseas trip isn't possible, take a journey to a locale that's new to you but close by, perhaps in your own country. Spin your compass over the weekend of April 21 - 22, for Mercury's collaboration to Jupiter will make it zesty fun."

Well who doesn't like a little zesty fun?! So I thought I'd wait and see what deals I'd find if I checked all the travel websites on April 21st. Lo and behold, my itinerary:

June 12: Amtrak to Newark, direct flight to Honalulu,

little island-jumper flight to Hilo

June 19: little island-jumper flight to Honalulu, overnight flight back to Newark,

June 20: Amtrak train back to Philly

total cost... (I still can't believe it) $577.54

Hawaya, here I come!

Here's a teaser pic of Miss K's new hood:

Soloist

I went to college and graduate school to play piano. I didn't have a clear idea of what that meant for my ultimate career, but I just knew I wanted to keep playing, keep learning, keep improving. I did a substantial amount of performing during those years, something like six solo recitals in all, plus many more in collaboration with others. Performing was always stressful, but occasionally it was so tremendously rewarding and such a transcendent experience, that I knew no matter how challenging and often frustrating it was, I needed to keep doing it. I continue to perform to this day, collaborating with my long-time piano duo partner, Maria, but it has been (*gasp*) over 10 years since I have performed solo. Part of me yearns to have that experience again.

I have never stopped wanting to perform solo repertoire, but somehow I've just stopped doing it. I refuse to give up, though - I still believe there is another solo recital in me. (Maybe even dozens of them.) Usually a little later in the year than this, say around the beginning of the summer, I start thinking, "Ok, Chris, you've got the whole summer ahead of you. Your schedule is much lighter; you should use these months to learn a solo program so it's ready to perform in the Fall."

The summer then slips by and I know a couple pieces pretty well, and I proceed to neglect and forget them once I go back to my full-tilt schedule in the Fall. Fast-forward to the next summer, and repeat the same disappointing cycle.

How to break it? It seems like it should be simple. Choose the repertoire, set specific goals, create a reasonable practice schedule, and stick to it! Shouldn't that work? If I start getting organized now, maybe I can do it this year!

Today I listened to part of a recording of one of my grad school recitals - some Brahms mostly - just to remind myself that I have the capacity to do it. Of course, back then my whole life revolved around the practice room, and I didn't have to work an insane schedule to pay the bills. So now I have less time, but I think I have more ability to use that time efficiently if I set my mind to it.

Will this be the summer of success?

going vegan?

Recently I listened to several episodes of a podcast called "Vegetarian food for thought." I have been a vegetarian (of sorts) since the age of 18. I've never completely eliminated animal products, such as eggs and dairy, and I've almost always included fish in my diet as well, which really means I'm not a vegetarian at all. However, chickens, pigs and cows have been out since I was 18. (I won't say how long ago that was!)

I like to think I'm pretty freethinking, and not extremely impressionable, but this podcast is very persuasive. It certainly reinforced my decision to never eat chickens, pigs and cows. In fact, It made me want to eliminate all animal products. I truly don't need them. The idea that vegetarians can't get enough protein from plant sources is a myth, and I know I don't want to be a part of a system that regularly abuses, tortures, mutilates and kills animals. But can I go all the way?

Is it selfish and greedy to not want to give up sushi? I do love it, even though I don't need it to live. Can cucumber rolls cut it for me? Is it hypocritical to say it's ok to kill fish but not ok to kill chickens? I can probably do without eggs... but cheese? I love cheese! I also own leather shoes and belts, though I don't think I could handle owning a leather jacket. Again, not very consistent, I know.

I guess people subscribe to all sorts of ethical codes, and aren't necessarily perfect adherents to those codes. (Just look at religions!) So for now I guess I'm doing what I can, eating what I'm comfortable eating, wearing what I'm comfortable wearing, and denying what I'm comfortable denying! For the moment I'm not changing anything, but it's in the back of my mind. I'll keep you posted.

keeping the momentum

"A recent trip overseas leaves Aries seeing everything through the eyes of a disenchanted American. Your old 'hood can certainly seem boring after a fun week away, but rest assured more such trips are in store for Aries."

This was in a December horoscope I came across the other day. Three weeks ago today, I was immersed in overwhelming art, architecture, music, food, and wine. Three weeks ago today, I spent nearly the entire day with a lump in my throat, not only because it was my last day in Paris, but because I had been on the verge of tears several times in quick succession. The first was upon entering the Sainte Chapelle and being surrounded by overwhelming color. The next was upon seeing the Eiffel Tower at Sunset. The last was listening to Chopin and Liszt in a 12th Century church. (I mean, how much can a person bear in one day?)

I spent the next week almost constantly thinking about living in Paris. Was there a way to make it happen? Was I just romanticizing it because I saw it from a vacationer's perspective?

It seemed like the universe was sending me all sorts of signals that I needed to jump-start my life - to go after the things that I wanted, rather than sit back and let life happen to me. I heard a radio interview with Danny DeVito in which he spoke about just that. He said he had always gone after the things he most wanted, and pursued them relentlessly until he got them. I felt like he was speaking to me! I wasn't going to simply "go with the flow" any more.

Little by little, though, I got wrapped up in all the mundane things that tie me to this life, and this place. Am I content, as the horoscope says, knowing there will be more trips like the magical one of a few weeks ago? Or am I losing the momentum I had when the smell of the sidewalk creperies was still fresh in my mind?

I'm still here!

Those of you who are instant message addicts, like me, surely know that an "away" message can express way more than simple non-presence. Whereas in the early days of IM, an away message consisted of a simple "I'm away from my computer right now", today an away message is an advertisement of your entire mental, physical and emotional state. "Ugh... Monday" or "at the gym" are meant to let our immediate chat realm know that we are less than happy to be back to work, or that we're ever-so-healthy and therefore sexually desirable.

Today is the first anniversary of the breakup of my most recent relationship. It lasted three and a half years, and ended one year ago today when I received an email saying we should no longer be a couple. That may sound like a cold way to end a relationship, but since all of our serious conversations for those three and a half years took place via email or text message, it was not at all surprising at the time. In the year since then, my ex- has been on and off my chat buddy list. At first it was way too painful to see his name there, constantly reminding me of his presence, so I removed him. Once in a while I put him back, sometimes out of curiosity - I wanted to know what his away messages said, despite the fact that they never express any emotional state. Apropos, I suppose, for someone who is emotionally detatched. Once in a while we actually chat. In honor of the anniversary of our breakup I have kept the following away message up almost all day for the past few days:

I’ve run the gamut,
A to Z.
Three cheers and dammit,
C’est La Vie.
I got through all of last year,
And I’m here.

Lord knows, at least I’ve been there,
And I’m here!
Look who’s here!
I’m still here!

-Stephen Sondheim

I rather enjoy the irony of an "away" message boldly proclaiming my presence. I have no way of knowing if my ex- still has me on his buddy list, or if he even reads my away messages. Tonight I came very close to IMing him something like "happy anniversary" or "can you believe it's been a year?" or simply, "do you know what today is?" But after some consideration, I realized there really was no point.

Twice this weekend, well-intentioned friends sent me text messages telling me they spotted my ex- somewhere in his neighborhood. A year ago, or even 6 months ago, it would have been yet another painful reminder of his presence - a vision of him in a familiar place, going about his life without me. Today I just don't care much. If he could see how often I go to those familiar places, going on with my life, it would balance out. Maybe well-intentioned people send him similar text messages. Maybe they don't. I did see him on Saturday night at two different local bars, for the first time in two months. I was with a group of friends, he was with a couple friends of his own. My heart didn't leap into my throat as it used to. If my pulse quickened, it was imperceptible. I didn't really care. We never said hi or even waved of made eye contact. He didn't stick around long in either place.

Just now, the guy with whom I've recently had three rather promising dates called. He just got back from a weekend visiting family in Toronto. That might have something to do with my feeling less concerned about running into my ex-boyfriend. This guy seems to be very sensitive, open, and communicative - the opposite of you-know-who. He's also extremely cultured and intelligent. Unfortunately he just called to say he was exhausted from travel and work, has a nasty cold, and is busy every night this week except tomorrow (when I'm busy). I'm leaving for Paris on Monday, so it's looking like we won't see each other for two weeks. I guess if it's meant to be, then in two weeks we'll pick up where we left off!

The good thing is that this new guy doesn't instant message.

Oh, and at this very moment, my ex- has the following away message up:
"at the gym... bbs..."

People love those dot-dot-dots...

it's been ages!

This will have to be a hurried entry, but just to catch things up to the present...

Tonight my band, NEXT MONTH'S RENT, is playing at a club in Philadelphia called Sister's. We bought a new PA system this week, so we'll probably spend the next 6 gigs or so paying it off. That's cool, though. I'm not really in it for the money. It's just fun to pretend to be a rock star once in a while.

My next bit of excitement is that I'll be going to Paris in November with my NYC posse. Very excited about that! We're renting an apartment for 5 nights on Rue Quincampoix. Pictures to come!

Late for work - gotta run.

Bunny in Berlin!

I just got back on Tuesday from a week in Berlin. I went to visit my friend Mark, who had already been there for six weeks, doing research for his forthcoming book about electronic dance music. Needless to say, we spent a good bit of time in dance clubs - and if there's any place in the world to go clubbing and hear techno, Berlin is it!

I'll try to reconstruct my week here, to the best of my recollection!

I arrived pretty early on Wednesday morning, August 16th. We had some coffee and walked to a nearby outdoor market to buy bread, cheese and fruit (a very European way to start.) We walked around a bit through the gay area of Schoeneberg. Here's a picture of us with the rainbow bear that was out front of an enormous (ahem) "book" store. I was pretty tired, as I hadn't gotten any sleep on the overnight flight. So I took a little nap, then we went out on the town. The first club we went to was called SO 36 which was having a night called kurzurlaub. The music was good, they had a strange little show in which some people (some in drag) danced around and threw various items at the audience - chocolate coins, condoms... I can't remember what else. Then we went to a nearby bar called Roses, which had interesting tacky décor, and was kind of quiet.

On Thursday, after a sound rest, I went off on my own. I took a little walk on the Kurfürstendam, which is a big shopping street. There were 3 H&M's on one block - crazy! There's a church known as the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church. It has been kept in its bombed-out condition from WWII, with a new church built next to it. The inside of the new church is quite striking - it has small block windows surrounding the entire sanctuary made from shards of mostly blue stained glass:

So... I did a little shopping and then took a tourist bus through the Tierpark and got out near the Reichstag, where the German parliament is located:

I walked around and looked at some of the other sights in the neighborhood. Some modern government buildings were nearby, along the Spree, the river that runs through Berlin:
Then I met Mark at the Brandenburger Tor (the Brandenburg Gate) : It soon started raining. We tried to find this vegetarian restaurant in the neighborhood, but the weather turned really nasty for a while and we got out of there. Originally we were supposed to go to this cool open-air bar called kubik (we went the next day... see below) but they closed down due to the rain.

After dinner at a fantastic Indian place right near the apartment, we went out, first to Möbel-Olfe, a nice, bohemian kind of bar, then we went over to Alexander Platz, to a club called Kinzo, which was having a night called Chantal's House of Shame. There was another strange drag show hosted by a very drunk Chantal (I presume). We danced there for a while, then headed to Weekend, where a DJ that Mark knew was playing. This place was up on a top floor of a tall building, so it had nice views. It was a mostly straight crowd, the dj was good, and we danced and hung out until the sun started coming up.

On Friday, again I took a little jaunt on my own, this time over to the Haus am Checkpoint Charlie where they have a very cluttered-yet-interesting museum about the Berlin Wall.

Then I went down Mehringdam in the Kreuzberg neighboorhood, and stopped in at Barbie Bar, which proved to be more interesting than I expected. No sooner had I sat down a few feet away from a sidewalk table at which sat several wild-looking drag queens, than did one of them walk over to me and hand me a glass of champagne, explaining (I think) that they had an extra glass! So I thanked them and toasted with them. Another came over shortly thereafter and handed me an ad for the show they were doing that night. I told her I had to go meet a friend for dinner, but perhaps we'd come back for the show. So I had my drink and then went home.

That night we went to Kubik which looks like this:

It's a really cool outdoor space made of these glowing blocks that slowly blink on and off. It's also on the Spree, so we were able to walk over to a little "beach" area and sit by the water. Then we went over to a club called Maria - actually that's what half the club is called, and the other half is called Josef, which is where the action was that night. Mark was videotaping the DJ for a little over an hour, then we hung out for a while. It also had an outdoor area overlooking the Spree. After a while we went back to Kubik to see what was going on and have another drink, then went home.

Okay now I'm getting confused, because I seem to remember that it was Thursday when we went to the Pergamon museum... hmm... so maybe I skipped something, or got my days mixed up, but anyway, it doesn't matter too much. We did go to the Pergamon on Thursday, though, because that was the day they were open late and for free. It's a really huge antiquities museum. One of the coolest things was the Ishtar Gate.

It's got these weird mythical creatures on it called Mushrushu:

Anyway, on Saturday and Sunday (I think!) during the days, we saw the Berliner Dom,

...the Dome of the Reichstag,

hung out in the Tierpark, and saw the Siegesäule (see first pic at top of this post.) It's a bit of a blur what happened on what day. Oh, and we also happened upon a big festival that was taking place on the Kurfürstendam, where we took a ride on a ferris wheel from which I got this great shot of a guy bungee jumping:

We were sharing a ferris wheel car with a German couple, and when the woman saw the jumper, she gasped and said something like "Nicht für alle die Gelt in der Welt!" (I'm sure my grammar is off, but it means "not for all the money in the world!")

On Saturday night we went to Three more clubs. (It never stops!) The first was a party called Irrenhaus ("crazy house") where the craziest things were the unbearable heat and overcrowdedness. We did get a piece of birthday cake (it was the club's birthday apparently) with chocolate penises on it, though. On the way out we shared a cab with a Swedish guy named Peter and an Austrian guy whose name now escapes me. Interestingly, the Austrian was from Salzburg and had worked at the pizza place (the Büro) that Maria and I frequented when we were there back in 1997! They persuaded us to join them at a club called Volksbühne which was in a partially-renovated theater.

I should mention that by this time it was after 4:00 am. Sometime after 5:00 or so, Mark and I left to go to Berghain, which was the most enormous and crazy club yet. It was in a huge factory/warehouse type space - three floors, insanely packed at dawn. It was still going strong at 7:30 or so when we finally left. At that point, we were dancing on the upstairs floor, which was packed with people. Every so often, the window blinds would open by remote control, and daylight would come pouring in over the crowd, provoking everyone to cheer loudly! Insane. Mark was ready to stay, but I didnt want to sleep all day Sunday, as we had plans to meet up with Arne (a guy I had met at Newark airport on Tuesday, waiting for our plane to Berlin) and his boyfriend Christian. We met them up in Prinzlauer Berg for coffee (Mark and I had breakfast) around 5:30pm. They showed us around for a little while after that.

On Sunday and Monday nights we went out in Schoeneberg, trying to take it kind of easy - if that's possible. We went to Heile Welt and Tom's on Sunday, and Hafen and Tom's again on Monday.

Besides the Indian place, some of the great food I had (I have trouble remembering which day at which place!) includes two Imbiss places - one was middle eastern (we went there twice - great Halumi sandwiches, grape leaves, mtaba, baklava, etc) and the other was Thai. Also two great Italian places.

eliminated

The One is over for me. On Friday night I sang my songs and on Saturday I didn't get enough votes to make it from the top 6 to the top 4. It would sound bitter to complain that the results had less to do with talent than with the number of people each contestant could persuade to vote for him. It would not be gracious to suggest that it was a popularity contest among the contestants and their friends rather than an American Idol situation, in which millions of people are voting for the performer they think is the best - or at least the cutest. So I won't say those things.

time management

I've had a nasty cold for about a week now - it seemed like it was getting better on Saturday and Sunday, and I actually got out of the house those days, but yesterday and today it has taken a nasty turn. I'm living on 12-hour sudafed, ibuprofen, and nyquil.

Whenever I'm stuck at home with a cold for long stretches, I always feel justified in being a little lazy. You have to rest, after all, in order to get better. So I end up watching a lot of tv and movies and such. I've probably seen more tv in the last week than in an entire month. I'm just that way - I don't really turn on the tv because it's such a passive activity. Even though I waste hours at a time at the computer (more interactive I guess) I always feel tv is more of a waste. I even forget to watch shows that I like. But as I said, I've been watching this week. The more you watch, the more you want to watch, it seems. I saw Project Runway for the first time last night, and of course, now I want to know how it's all going to turn out. I saw a few episodes of my favorite animated shows - Family Guy, The Simpsons, American Dad, King of the Hill, and watched some Malcolm in the Middle waiting for those other shows to start. I also caught The Daily Show and The Colbert Report last night. I could easily watch each of these shows every time they're on. I didn't catch any South Park, but I wish I had. On top of all that, I have 183 movies in queue on netflix - even if I watch two of those a week, which is highly unlikely, it would take me nearly two years to get through them all - assuming I don't add more and more movies to the queue, which I add to continually.

Yesterday I got a book in the mail that I had ordered from half.com - 28 Barbary Lane - which contains Armistead Maupin's first three Tales of the City novels. I've already read them, maybe 10 or 15 years ago, but I was recently in San Francisco, and now want to re-read them. But I'm still finishing two books of short stories, and earlier this summer, started Don Quixote, which I think will be rewarding if I can find the discipline to hunker down and read it.

Everything I've mentioned so far are leisure activities. Sure, not all of it is mindless entertainment - some of it is art and will enrich my life and understanding of the world. Even pure entertainment is necessary once in a while, for a little 'down time'. But I then find I'm not practicing enough piano, not getting to the gym as often as I should (alright, I've been sick, so I haven't felt like it), not investigating ways of bettering my carreer or financial situation, not cleaning the apartment. It's so easy to avoid those things that take real mental and/or physical effort because of the overwhelming availability of leisure activities. (If tv can be called an 'activity'...)

So how much of my non-work time do I spend 'working' at these things? Do I need to make a schedule? Only allow certain time slots for internet or tv? It would be an interesting task just to see how much more productive I can be if I plan my time better. I think it might also help me feel like I'm not sitting on my ass, wasting my life!

Now I'm off to work.