I went to college and graduate school to play piano. I didn't have a clear idea of what that meant for my ultimate career, but I just knew I wanted to keep playing, keep learning, keep improving. I did a substantial amount of performing during those years, something like six solo recitals in all, plus many more in collaboration with others. Performing was always stressful, but occasionally it was so tremendously rewarding and such a transcendent experience, that I knew no matter how challenging and often frustrating it was, I needed to keep doing it. I continue to perform to this day, collaborating with my long-time piano duo partner, Maria, but it has been (*gasp*) over 10 years since I have performed solo. Part of me yearns to have that experience again.
I have never stopped wanting to perform solo repertoire, but somehow I've just stopped doing it. I refuse to give up, though - I still believe there is another solo recital in me. (Maybe even dozens of them.) Usually a little later in the year than this, say around the beginning of the summer, I start thinking, "Ok, Chris, you've got the whole summer ahead of you. Your schedule is much lighter; you should use these months to learn a solo program so it's ready to perform in the Fall."
The summer then slips by and I know a couple pieces pretty well, and I proceed to neglect and forget them once I go back to my full-tilt schedule in the Fall. Fast-forward to the next summer, and repeat the same disappointing cycle.
How to break it? It seems like it should be simple. Choose the repertoire, set specific goals, create a reasonable practice schedule, and stick to it! Shouldn't that work? If I start getting organized now, maybe I can do it this year!
Today I listened to part of a recording of one of my grad school recitals - some Brahms mostly - just to remind myself that I have the capacity to do it. Of course, back then my whole life revolved around the practice room, and I didn't have to work an insane schedule to pay the bills. So now I have less time, but I think I have more ability to use that time efficiently if I set my mind to it.
Will this be the summer of success?
